When will it be my turn.......

When will it be my turn to be a mother for my husband to be a father for us to be a family. How many more people around us do we have to watch have this why we still wait patiently. Most of our friends and family know that we are trying to start a family but most people do not know what a struggle it has been. After years of trying and multiple tests, procedures, medicines it has come down to IVF which as most people know is not cheap, so now my wait to be a mom has to wait even longer until I can come up with the money. My infertility does not mean I am broken it just means I need some extra help.
With Mother's day approaching this subject is especially hard because the one thing I want most in the world is to be a Mother and this is the one day made to honor Mothers. This blog is not to make people feel sorry for me  it is a place for me to talk about how I feel and share what is going on with me and my baby making journey. Most people do not know what to say to someone struggling with infertility so they throw out cliche words like "it will happen" "don't worry" "there are always miracles" "don't stress" "there are other options" and the aboslute worse "I know its hard" which are meant to be encouraging but FYI they are not! When I hear "don't stress just relax and it will happen in its own time" I puke a little in my mouth because obviously you have never been through something like this or you would know its not that I am stressed it is that I am completely heart broken. Then when people aren't offering their encouraging words they are giving me advice have your tried this, or that, or have you taken this, and my all time favorite "try standing on your head my cousin did that" I mean seriously do you think that I would get to this point after all these years and not have tried all these things.... even the standing on my head! So what I need from my friends and family is not a magic word that will make it all okay I just need you to listen and understand when I am not overly enthused at the next pregnancy announcement and know that sometimes I just need a hug. It is impossible to understand what I am going through unless you yourself have been through trying years to get pregnant with NO success so I do not expect you to understand I just expect you to love me through every emotional crazy hormonal day I may have.... or at least tolerate me. So this Mother's day if you are a Mother be thankful for that because it does not come easily to everyone and a baby is truly a blessing that should be cherished.